Chapter 1
June 2, Friday night

Fuck, I need to get out of here.

The thought played in Todd's head as he stared at the clock. Seconds ticked by, his eyes followed each incremental movement of the second hand, mentally counting each one. To break up the monotony, he occasionally looked at the front door. Five hours ago, it had slammed shut behind his boyfriend, Elliot. Two fucking years had gone right out the door, and Todd had no clue why.

What had he done wrong? Todd had done his best to conform to what Elliot had wanted, but apparently it hadn’t been enough.

Why in the hell am I still sitting here?

Todd couldn't even dwell on what had gone wrong since he had no idea what had been wrong in the first place. Over the last several months Elliot had gotten increasingly morose and uncommunicative--not that the man had ever been much in the way of a conversationalist--but it had definitely gotten worse. Todd had struggled to understand and not crowd Elliot.

God, get your ass out of this chair and do something. Anything.

Maybe he just needed laid then it wouldn't hurt so much. He glanced back at the clock; only thirty seconds had gone by since the last time he'd looked at it.

Oh, this is fucking pathetic. I've had it.

Todd determinedly hauled his ass out of the chair to get a shower. What he needed was a good binge, and he knew the perfect place for it.

I might even get laid. What the hell. If the son of bitch wants to leave me, it doesn't matter what the hell I do.

Stripped naked in front of the mirror, he critically inspected his own body. He didn't look that bad…did he? He studied his reflection: a man in his early thirties, clean-cut, average. He wasn't kinky or wanton, but he knew what he wanted in a man. Or so he thought.

Sighing, he convinced himself of two things: yes, he needed this, and no, he wasn't cheating. Elliot walked out; his boyfriend was gone. There was no one to cheat on. Todd turned on the water and stepped under the spray, eyes closing as the warmth seeped into his skin, his bones. Yeah, he needed to get out.

Twenty minutes later, dressed and wearing a smile that didn't quite reach the inside, Todd walked out of his house, ignoring the finality that sounded when he closed his front door behind him.

It only took a few minutes to leisurely stroll the four blocks to The Backdoor. It was the place he used to hang out before he‘d started dating Elliot. Todd had, on rare occasion, been in the back room until Elliot entered the picture. Elliot hadn’t been much into the gay scene, he’d preferred to blend into the existing world. A place like The Backdoor would be far beneath Elliot’s conservative, strait-laced notice.

Part of Todd realized just how much he’d changed to try to fit what Elliot wanted. While he hadn’t been that wild to begin with, compared to Elliot, Todd had been a bad influence. Todd had been enthralled by Elliot‘s looks and charisma, but he‘d never been quite sure why Elliot had chosen him. Eliza Doolittle syndrome? Todd had never questioned his good luck in getting Elliot until now.

The club wasn't exceedingly busy, but just enough to allow Todd to walk in without really being noticed. Stopping at the bar to get a beer, he then headed for a table in a dark corner, content to sip and watch. Before he knew it, he was on his fourth.

His tolerance wasn't quite what it had been in college, but he wasn't seeing double yet, either. He had just enough of a good buzz to ease the pain, near the point that he barely remembered just why he was sitting in a bar to begin with. He finished off his beer and slid lower into the booth, watching the door idly. The eye candy left something to be desired and he was actually contemplating checking out the bathroom, or God forbid, the back room he knew existed.

"No, precious, I'm not in the mood for another drink. Why don't you go find Teddy, and leave me alone for a while?"

A man not far from Todd stood up, earning himself a smile from the young man with whom he'd been sitting.

"There's a good boy. Now go on and play. Just don't hurt Teddy, he bruises easy."

The young man who'd been speaking stood and eased out of the seat. The fishnet shirt and black pants seemed to have been painted on his slender body. His thick, black hair was held back by a slender silver ribbon that matched the polish on his nails and the eye shadow over his eyes.

Blinking, Todd looked the young man up and down. Okay, a bit...loud for his tastes, but the man's face--even with the eye shadow--was handsome. Todd figured he could overlook the shadow...just for a good look at the body. The young man leaned over to reach into the edge of his boot, giving Todd a really clear view of a firmly round ass. It took a minute for Todd to remember how to breathe.

Straightening, the man muttered to himself, "Pretty damn bad, when I can't even relax with that bitch in the vicinity. Lord, save me one of these days."

Gaze firmly riveted to the sweet ass in front of him, Todd was barely aware when the waiter came by to get his empty beer bottle. For the first time in his life, Todd wondered if he could actually swallow his nervousness long enough to even strike up a conversation.

"What's he drinking?" he asked the waiter, nodding toward the young man.

The waiter glanced in the direction Todd indicated. "Oh, you mean Loren? He likes anything with rum in it. You want another beer?"

"He's sweet on you, Loren. I think it's cute," the woman in the booth with Loren finally spoke.

"Then you can have my place, Lorelei. Its nights like these when I wish some of them were into pussy."

When he turned back to the table, Loren's gaze caught Todd's. A slow sweep of those silver-shadowed eyes traveled over Todd like a caress. "Well, hello there, gorgeous. When did you sneak in?"

"I...umm..." Todd swallowed. "Would you like a drink?" Oh. Real smooth, Todd. He resisted the urge to slap himself for that one.

"Since you asked so sweetly, I'd love to." With a wink at his friend, Loren slid into the booth beside Todd. "Get us a round, Fonse. Whatever he's having and my usual."

Lorelei nudged against the back of the both and gave Todd a dazzling smile. The smile became a pout as she pursed her lips at Loren. "Bitch, you get all the luck."

Loren blew her a kiss, and with a wave of his hand motioned for her to turn around and ignore them. "I'm Loren Spears, and who are you?"

Finally finding a voice that didn't sound like Mickey Mouse, Todd said, "Todd Jacobs." He held out a hand to Loren. "It's a pleasure."

"If we're lucky, the pleasure will be mutual, Todd." Loren shook it, then lowered both of their hands to the table and didn't let go.

Todd's gaze was fixed solely on their hands. "Yeah.”

"That'll be eight-fifty," the waiter said as he set their drinks down. Todd handed him a ten and waved away the change.

"Thanks." The waiter winked at Loren before walking back to the bar.

"So, I'm assuming you're a regular here?" Todd thought for a moment to remove his hand from under Loren's, but at the last minute, decided he wouldn't. It felt kind of...nice.

"I'm in and out, depending on my mood. But most of my friends hang out here. Since Lorelei hasn't seen you around, you must not come here very often."

"Haven't been here in two years actually." Heat crept into Todd’s face when his gaze met Loren's. Up close, the man was even more gorgeous--a great deal more flamboyant than Todd would ever be--but still gorgeous. "You live around here?"

"I live over by Lake Montana. Lorelei and I rent a place on the beach." The tips of Loren's fingers idly rubbed to the back of Todd's hand. "This isn't a bad place for the most part. You just have to watch out for the vines. Unless you're into the clinging sort."

A shiver ran up Todd's spine before he could stop it. He could feel his heart nearly jump out of his chest, his jeans tightening slightly. Two years and he'd touched no one--never let anyone touch him--other than Elliot. Yet here he was, wondering what those fingers would feel like sliding over the length of his cock. No, I’m not cheating, Todd sharply reminded himself. Elliot was the one who packed and left.

"Just got out of a relationship," he heard himself say, eyes never leaving their hands. "Not fond of clinging at the moment."

"Figured you'd say something like that. So what are you looking for, gorgeous? Or have you found it for tonight?"

"I haven't been with anyone but Elliot in two years."

"Not so sure what you're looking for then, are you?" In a quick gesture Loren pointed to the back of the bar. "The back rooms are on the left side of the bar, if you want something quick. Not my style, but there's quite a few here who will."

Withdrawing his hand from Todd's, Loren dipped a finger in his drink and lifted it to his lips, carefully licking the liquid from his skin.

Todd watched the way Loren's tongue moved and found himself wishing it was his finger...or more. "Would you object to a hotel room?”

"Yeah, I would, sweetie. Not a rent-a-boy. I'd prefer my place or yours if that would make you more comfortable."

"Oh." Todd blinked. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that. My place then? I mean, if you don't want to, then that's okay. I'll understand."

He raised his hand and delicately wet Todd's lips with the rum and coke on the tip of his finger. "Shh, baby boy. I didn't take offense, or I would have gotten up. Your place is fine."

When Loren leaned in close enough, Todd felt the dart of Loren's tongue tasting at the sweet flavor of the alcohol he'd left on Todd's lips. Just as quickly Loren drew back with a smile.

A small sound escaped Todd with the light touch. "My place." He dug his keys out of his pocket and nodded toward the door. "I only live about four blocks away. You up for a walk? Or would you prefer a cab?"

"Umm, I adore your eagerness. We can walk. Four blocks won't kill us." Loren finished his drink, slid out of the booth and led the way to the front door.

God, what was I am doing? Todd eyed the ass walking away from him and he quickly followed. In a matter of minutes, he'd gone from drowning in beer and heartache, to wanting. Once outside, he moved up to walk even with Loren, unsure of what to say or do. It had been so long since he'd even thought about sex with someone else. He was no stranger to one night stands, but it had been so damn long.

Loren slid his arm in Todd‘s, smiling at him. "So tell me what you do for a living. Then I want you to try to guess what I do."

Trying to force the thoughts of people seeing them out of his head, Todd cleared his throat. "I'm an accountant. I have my own private firm out of my home office."

"An accountant, and used to the 9-5 white vanilla world, am I right?" A couple of people they passed greeted Loren by name. Loren nodded slightly to each as they continued walking.

Todd outright blushed. "Um, yeah. Guess you could say that. So, let me guess...something artistic?"

"I don't think most would consider a game programmer to be artistic." Loren's free hand lifted to Todd's cheek, one finger tracing lightly over his skin.

Todd bit at his lip, wanting more but not daring to do or say anything before they got behind closed doors. "Wow. No offense, but you don't look a day over twenty-one."

"More like twenty-six, but thanks for the compliment. I'm going to assume you're well over legal age, too."

"Thirty-four, actually." He steered them through the gate of the tall wrought-iron fence. His house was large and stately, but nowhere near the size of a mansion. It served its purpose, though Todd wasn't sure what he was going to do with all the space now that he was single again.

"You're doing very well for yourself. It's larger than what I share with Lorelei." He followed Todd inside and paused just inside the door, closing it. "You clean a lot, don't you?"

"Guess you could say I'm a neat freak. You want something to drink?" He headed into the kitchen, flipping on lights as he went. "Make yourself at home."

"Oh, I will." Loren walked up behind Todd, slipping his arms around his waist. "I think a kiss will do for starters. I've wanted one since I first saw you. Then we can talk soda."

Behind closed doors, Todd felt more comfortable, easy in his skin. He turned in Loren's arms, threaded his fingers through Loren's hair, and pulled him in for a kiss. Starting slow, he licked Loren's lips then slipped his tongue in between them, searching for heat.

"Mmm…" the soft sound greeted Todd's touch. Loren drew Todd's tongue into his mouth, encouraging Todd with slow strokes. The kiss was unhurried, but an underlying intensity crept in and Loren's arms snaked around Todd's neck.

Todd leaned back against the kitchen doorframe, spreading his legs. He dropped his hands to Loren's waist and pulled the man close, pressing them together in all the right places. A fire flared between them, and the slight rock of Loren's hips increased it. As he back from the kiss, Todd could see the hunger in Loren‘s eyes.

"I knew I wanted to fuck you, Todd. Or be fucked by you."

Loren ran his fingers along the front of Todd's shirt and unbuttoned it. He pushed the fabric aside, and his lips latched quickly onto Todd's right nipple, tongue flicking teasingly over the hardening flesh.

Todd hissed, fingers tugging at the ribbon holding Loren's hair back.

"Loren. Oh, God..." He shuddered and moaned, hips pushing against Loren, cock growing painfully hard in his jeans.

Loren tugged at the fastening of Todd's pants and slipped his hand inside. His fingers caressed Todd's bare skin, the other hand unzipping Todd's pants the rest of the way. A light scrape of his teeth played over Todd's skin, further torturing the nipple. Finally, he pulled his head back and whispered, "Bedroom, couch, or the fucking wall?"

"The...wall?" He gasped as Loren's fingers slid over the head of his cock. "Anywhere...just need it," he groaned.

"You have been deprived, babe." Loren's hand withdrew and he began undressing Todd. After he tossed the shirt to the floor, he started on Todd's pants. "Take off your shoes so I can get these pants off of you, and your underwear have definitely got to go."

Without a word, Todd toed his shoes off, kicking them to the side. "Something tells me you're going to rectify that problem.”

"Yeah, I'm going to fuck that sweet ass of yours into the wall." Loren slid Todd's pants off, then got rid of the underwear. The kneading of his fingers to Todd's ass emphasized his words. "And you're going to need lube, so I suggest we get some."

"End table," Todd said, voice gone suddenly low and husky. "Between the sofa and the loveseat."

"Don't move."